Get off my LAN, you damn kids!

dolphinsflyingthroughspace:

Suzu continues to make me laugh :D

dolphinsflyingthroughspace:

Suzu continues to make me laugh :D

Choose your words carefully

outofcontextdnd:

DM: As a reward to the party, the Genie will answer one question with complete honesty.

Me: Each?

Genie: <laughing> No!

Party: <Evil glare at me>

outofcontextdnd:

Bugbear: We killed a rave dragon.

DM: It’s not a rave dragon-

Bugbear: Its eyes were flashing different colors, it made decisions a drugged person would make, and it couldn’t leave the shiny person alone. It was a rave dragon.

Seeing what tricks my new pet knows during my first session

outofcontextdnd:

Me: Roll over.

GM: The hedgehog rolls over. It’s adorable.

Me: Stay.

GM: You take a few steps away. The hedgehog remains where it is.

Me: Heel.

GM: The hedgehog heals you for 5 HP.

Me: Holy shit.

I’ve discovered there’s a lot you can do inside haunted houses.

fictionalfeather:

For example, you can:

  • be in a shampoo commercial

image

  • start a boy band:

image

  • spot some choice booty:

image

  • break into song:

image

  • see some people in frankly offensive outfits:

image

  • attend a metal show:

image

  • listen to some sick jams:

image

  • discover zombieism:

image

  • sample some tasty snacks:

image

  • watch someone get burned bad:

image

  • find something you really like:

image

  • find something you really, really like:

image

  • find something you REALLY REALLY LIKE:

image

  • and wonder if you left the stove on:

image

(via peaches64)

vtforpedro:

Good god why is this cracking me up so much

(Source: tastefullyoffensive, via peaches64)

Ultimate thief

outofcontextdnd:

Rouge: I attempt to steal everything on the table.

*rolls 20*

DM: You steal everything, Including the table.